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The Virtue Acceptance

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Learning to Exemplify Self-Acceptance

Acceptance

By Jini Li, January 13, 2017

When a person has attained the virtue of acceptance, they exercise other virtues, too, like awareness, generosity, consideration, flexibility, forgiveness, tolerance, forbearance, supportiveness, understanding, patience, trust, trustworthiness, love and compassion.

Acceptance as a virtue has two environmental facets. One is an acceptance of people; the other is an acceptance of circumstances.

Practicing acceptance with people is synonymous with practicing love. It’s accepting a person regardless of what they have done. When a person practices acceptance of another person, the other person feels acknowledged and adequate. It’s like a boost of confidence and self-assurance. Acceptance builds self-esteem. Acceptance embraces.

Acceptance of circumstances is accomplishable by being able to see things from multiple perspectives, and understanding that there are always aspects that remain unseen. This understanding allows the person peace of mind, and a gentle and generous nature. They are foreseeing and forgiving. They are like a well-rooted tree in a storm, sure and steadfast. They face adversity calmly with avid trust and confidence.

A person who practices acceptance does not waste energy on resistance or fighting. This person sees the end in the beginning, and sees present circumstances as transitional. They see all people as a part of the whole, and every person is equal to the next. Differences do not vex a person who has mastered acceptance. On the contrary, an accepting person appreciates differences. They are undisturbed by happenings in the world and differences in opinion. They understand that truth always rises to the surface. The virtue of acceptance is not synonymous with apathy or indifference. It does not mean that a person does not have an opinion. Rather, it recognizes a time and a place for everything. Acceptance is active, positive energy.

Acceptance is like acquiescence. The summer acquiesces to the fall.  The fall to the winter, and the winter to the spring. Acquiescence is recognition of the transitional, changing nature of all things. It is knowing that everything that happens contains a lesson, however wrong or meaningless it may seem at the time.

Without acceptance, without acquiescence, a person who reluctantly resigns to circumstances and people harbors resentment and impatience. This causes a person to become apathetic and to feel helpless and disappointed. These feelings can fester and come out in different forms, such as passive aggressive behavior.

Acceptance requires perception with freedom from bias, and an ability to see reality and not despise it. In this recognition, people will do what comes natural to them, but without acting forcefully. It can be likened unto a moderator. It neutralizes disdain and counterbalances hate. It balances unstable emotions. It calms.

Practicing acceptance yields the ability to be non-reactive and non-defensive. It causes people to think before they act and consider long-reaching, smarter, more effective and efficient responses to people and circumstances. Acceptance allows things to transpire naturally.

Acceptance disputes denial. It forces us to accept the reality of our situation. It causes us to respond to an unwanted situation with, “Alright. I didn’t want this to happen, but it did. This is where I am now.” Accepting present conditions provides a place from which to move forward.

Acceptance prevents resentment. When a person is unable to accept something or someone, it is often because of a personal preconception. If another person does something that someone has preconceived as being negative, it can cause that someone to begin to feel resentment towards the other person and may even result in aggression. Looking at positive aspects of the person or situation can help turn reluctance to accept into acceptance.

Acceptance encompasses self-acceptance without allowing self-pity or becoming defined by traumatic events. Acceptance helps us move forward from where we are and who we are.

 

Jini Li: Author of Radiant Acquiescence and Petals & Pebbles websites. Lover of life, enthusiastic learner and curious adventurer. I love people, I love learning and I love life. I'm here to share and be a part of a positive, thriving community of people who want to grow and develop as individuals and as a part of the world community.

View Comments (12)

  • This is a lovely post. Thank you so much for sharing with us. It's good to understand that acceptance is very important and sometimes we are too busy or blind to notice that. I will start my day by practising acceptance more. Thank you.

    • Hi Will,

      I really appreciate you saying that you will start your day by practicing acceptance more. That says to me that you care about your own self-development, and that is such a praiseworthy pursuit in my eyes. By the way, I visited your website, Start Running Today, and can see these same qualities reflected in your pursuit of healthy living. Thank you so much for commenting on this post. Have a wonderful week!

      Jini

  • Beautiful post. I am bookmarking your site. You have a lot of incredible knowledge you are relaying and it very much appreciated. Great work. I wonder why we haven't crossed paths before...

    • Hi Brent,

      Thanks so much for visiting my post and checking out my site. It is early in the game for me, but through this, I have been able to focus on my life journey and busy myself with pursuits that bring me happiness and satisfaction. One huge thing has been self awareness, or as you might put it, "self optimization." I love that! I also checked out your website, Optimize Your Life, and found it to be full of positivity as well. Rock on!

      Jini Li

  • What a soothing page to read through. I struggle on a day to day with acceptance of self. I have made it very far, and milestones are even recognizable to me, but I still have a long way to go.

    I have an adopted hound pooch named Doug. Doug has an amazing spirit, and I love him dearly. Doug was also four years old and with heavy problems from past abuse at the time we adopted him almost eight months ago. Doug's issues from his past abuse (being stubborn, freezing up, peeing without cause and without control, even some biting, yelping like he's being beaten when literally no physical contact is taking place, and more) brings out the "worst" in me, and I even get angry and yell (not helping ever).

    I have come to a point where I have considered bringing him back to the humane society, and that just seems like an awful option. I know his chances of having a better life are limited other than the beautiful option he has as a member of this family. He was adopted once before us by someone else and 'returned'. It just would be failure on my part if I can't get over peeing and other things so he can live out the rest of his weird life with us.

    Any advice on acceptance with Douglas the Fur? Seriously though, it means a lot to me and this family to somehow 'jive' with Doug's weird issues.

    Thank you for your page and your insights on acceptance. It really was peaceful and tranquil to read.

    • Hi Kameron,

      Thank you so much for visiting my page and sharing. I really appreciate where you are with Douglas the Fur and can really relate to this difficult decision.

      Without going into my own stories and those of my friends and family, I do think it comes down to showing kindness to yourself, your family and even to Doug. You need to recognize what you need to be happy, and that there may be another person out there who is a perfect match for Doug. If you keep Doug and you and your family end up feeling resentful, it might be too high a price to pay. On the other hand, if you keep Doug, and you are able to patiently and joyfully deal with his trauma, it could be very rewarding. I have seen traumatized pets turn around with people who are available to love and care for them the way they need it. Sometimes accepting is recognizing what your boundaries are. Remember to love yourself, and remember that whatever decision you make will be the right decision.

      Sincerely,

      Jini Li

  • Hi Jini,

    Thanks you for a beautiful post. Acceptance is important for personal development and as you've pointed out, it increases self esteem. Far too many people, are unhappy and depressed because they're not able to do what you've highlighted - accept yourself and accept your circumstances. I write in my journal every day and I start off with 3 things I'm grateful for, it helps me to start the day on a high.

    For me acceptance helps me to become a better person. Thanks again for the post Jini :-)

    • Hi Gaylene,

      Thank you so much for stopping in and checking out my post on Acceptance. It's so true that our perspective has a big affect, if not a complete affect on our happiness. I really like the way you start your journal, gratitude is a paramount virtue, and it's kind of ironic how even though we are being thankful, the state of being thankful does us a lot of personal good! I feel like acceptance has helped me become a better person, too, as has gratitude. :)

      Thanks again for your comment, Gaylene!

      Jini

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